love love love me already, baby.

what's going on here?
what's the problem now?
...i can't seem to focus.

tomorrow i will get things done, oh yes i will.

=)

astrud gilberto compilation

once i loved and i gave so much love to this love he was the world to me. once i cried at the thought i was foolish and proud and let him say goodbye. what was i to say? what can you say when a love affair is over? never trust the stars when you're about to fall in love?

then one day from my infinite sadness you came and brought me love again. now i know that no matter what ever befalls i’ll never let you go. i will hold you close, night and day,because love is the saddest thing when it goes away.

from this day on my days are days of sun and roses.
my life's a carnival of song.
from this day on my dear, the door to sorrow closes.
this day when you came along.

though you're far away, I have only to close my eyes and you are back to stay.
i just think of you and the sadness that missing you brings, soon it's gone and this heart of mine sings.

i will wait for you 'till the sun falls from out of the sky, for what else can i do?
i will wait for you, meditating how sweet life will be when you come to me.

what's up?

i woke up early today, ambitious to get a few things done, really just wanting to clean everything. i started in the living room, putting things back where they belong, dusting, vacuuming, eventually making my way into the kitchen.

the problem i have with cleaning the kitchen is that once it's clean it's too tempting to mess up. this is always the case with me. :D

so, i began removing all the clean dishes out of my dishwasher only to find that all my cups had crusty crumbs left in them. i hate that! i decided to wash them all by hand to prevent future disappointment. first time i ever drank coffee and did dishes simultaneously. i decided to just wash everything while i was at it, including the stack of pots and pans that i had been ignoring for several days now. i guess the water felt good on my hands? i enjoyed it none the less.

then i cleaned off my counters, appliances, and get this... i even cleaned the inside of my microwave, the cabinet doors, the inside and outside of my fridge, and and the floors! my mom would be so proud, muahahaha.

i stood there admiring my hard work, with this intense urge to cook something delicious. i found a recipe for homemade alfredo sauce, rode my bike to the market to pick up a few ingredients, and then began my cooking voyage. but in the back of my mind, i didn't want to reverse all the hard work i had done earlier. and so, after two hours of hard work, this was the end result, and it was delicious:

lets see, parmesan crusted chicken (baked), pan seared asparagus with roasted tomatoes, and homemade alfredo sauce. the picture doesn't do the flavour justice. because it was THAT delicious.

but the one thing i'm most proud of is that with the exception of the pan i baked the chicken in, everything else was cooked in one pan. i even boiled the noodles in a pan, lolz, which i wouldn't recommend. all in an attempt to keep my kitchen neat and clean.

and so, at 2pm, i've accomplished everything i wanted to get done. what do i do now??? :D

school woes

school is miserable. too much work, expense, time and stress. why do we do it to ourselves? oh...i remember now.
but what about those of us who don't care about $_$.
i'd rather be sitting at a beach right now, not in front of this screen writing research papers on places and things i've never seen. when this is all over life will be grand.

sleep won't come

i tried so hard. i laid down and listened to music for 3 hours but couldn't fall asleep. every song made me think of him. if i could trade every person in colorado for just one of him, i would without a blink. -blink-

sometimes i look around and wonder if anyone nearby longs for someone far away. i imagine him walking down streets, taking the subway to random destinations, basically passing a countless number of strangers and pedestrians, all of whom i'm so jealous of. those people are so lucky to be near him and don't even know it. kills me! that's all i want. something so basic could make me so happy.

even though i tried to put on a happy face, it really got me down today. i keep in mind that everyday is possibly one day closer to being with him, but it's also one more day that i'm not?

i'm so disappointed i'm thinking so negatively. will this ever be? if so, when?

:(

i need a new camera

my camera is too light picky. my pictures end up fuzzy, dark, or off tone?

korea

tonight i find myself missing korea so much, especially seoul and incheon. reminising all the wonderful times i had there: shopping at namdaemun market, food carts, eating dokbokgee on a stick, the lush scenery, the smell of the ocean, the maeil ladies in their yellow cloaks, fresh baked bread on every street corner, steamed corn at train stations, the ease of public transportation, everything that makes it unique to any other place i've ever been.

korea is heaven.

look at the dokbokgee and taenjang guk! i can smell it!

itaewon, i miss you. i remember walking down this street so many times.

i love you bangbarae!! i would travel thousands of miles to taste you again! :cries:

200 lbs of beauty

my aunt told me to watch this movie, because it was really sweet. it was sweet, but disturbing at the same time.

i'll try not to ruin it, but it's basically about hanna, an overweight singer with a beautiful voice, the secret voice behind amy, a korean pop singer (think milli vanilli). hanna is desperately in love with their record producer, but one day overhears him tell amy that he finds her repulsive because of her weight.

heartbroken, hanna quits singing, attempts suicide, then decides to have head-to-toe plastic surgery. she is in total seclusion for a year, then emerges as a beautiful new person unrecognizable by her friends and family.

knowing that the record company is eagerly seeking a replacement voice for amy, she nervously auditions and reinvents herself as "jenny." amy nor the record producer have any idea jenny is really hanna. and he has no idea that she did this all for him. =( even more devastating when she still feels like she isn't good enough.

i love the song byul, that hanna sings at the audition! the lyrics are so sweet and soooo sad.

i miss it

the relationship dramz...

when i'm in one i try so hard to avoid it, but hearing about a friend's lastnight made me wish i had his kind of issues. at first he was mad, but the conversation shifted to how much he adored her regardless. i wondered if he ever told her these things and if she appreciated what she had. probably not. we often only realize how important all those little things were when they're stripped from us.

if i ever find love, i will remember to treasure the details that make our relationship ours.

in the mood for love

one of the most visually beautiful films i've ever seen. stunning and wonderful in every way. i'm blown away at how great it was; i wasn't expecting to like it so much. go china!

so today, lets see.. spin class, afternoon run with kelsey, and and... that's about it. oh, and i received the best compliment i've probably ever gotten:

her: "i'm so jealous of your face."

me: "um what? this face?! you can have it, want to trade?"

her: "i'll meet you in the operating room."

oh my. as flattered as i was, i was puzzled. how could anyone be jealous of this face? my face? makes me sad just thinking about it. i wish i had an ounce of confidence. it's easy for me to see the beauty in others, but when it comes to myself, i see nothing. =(

him

got back a bit ago from a late night lake run. the moon lit the sky so beautifully, in that dreamlike way when mountains glisten on water.

and yet, all i could think about was him.

it's always him. :sigh:

fancy tiger clothing

i was noticing earlier today that there are some great items available at fancy tiger clothing. a dress in particular really caught my attention. two dresses! i love winter and the fall, but these dresses make me excited for spring! handmade and so beautifully done!

tulle dress

dear creatures, love the hat with it too!

pollis jewlery, love the earrings!

purposeful design

i still haven't decided what i want to go into design wise. i love the intimacy of residential design, designing for an individual client, but i also love the creative outlet that comes with commercial.

i have so many pet peeves when it comes to interior design, especially with the design students at my school. every projects is "modern and high-end" but why? designing with obstacles, financial boundaries, and other limitations seems so much more fun to me. why can't design be more accessible? design within reach, what a great idea, but is it really? still feels like it's catering towards the upper class.

those of us who can appreciate good design, especially when it comes to interiors, understand how positively a well designed space can change your perspective and quality of life. so i can't understand why it's not more available to everyone.

i really hope that i can do something different to maybe change that in some small way. maybe when i have the experience to back this up, i can start a design firm with a different outlook. one that's not so money driven, but people driven. eco-conscious...or how about just conscious?

new finds: before and afters, love these! courtesy of designsponge.

a little paint and reupholstery goes a long way.

this was an abandoned elementary school that was converted into a live/work studio called the 'clafin school studies' by wendy seller. inspiring work!

upcycling is awesome.

welllll...

my mom is super mad at me. she has been for a few days now, since new years eve to be exact. when she doesn't get what she needs from me she throws a fit. i understand why she's mad, but a major part of me just doesn't care. time to cut the umbilical cord, mom.

i made oysters rockefeller for dinner. came out yummy!

i miss b.